Thursday, July 24, 2008

Give Her a Tums Already

Okay, so this is one of the most bizarre things that has happened to me in a veeeery long time. Last weekend my in-laws gave us a watermelon. We were thrilled bc we cannot seem to be able to keep fruit for very long in our house these days (Lola) and a watermelon would be delicious. So, we came home, set it on the counter, and left it there. I planned on cutting it up once we had room in our refrigerator for the big bowl I was going to store it in. (A couple days, tops.)

Yesterday morning I was picking up around the house before I left for my deposition and I kept hearing this hissing sound. Kinda loud, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I shut off the TV, walked around my entire house all hunch-backed with my head poked out, turning my head from side to side as if my ears would zero in on this mysterious sound -- you know the look, don't laugh. I just could not figure out where this noise was coming from. The idea of my water pipes crossed my mind, but nope, wasn't them. I give up.

Well, about 45 minutes later I'm in the kitchen putting dishes away and I notice that my watermelon is FOAMING and HISSING and SPEWING water/juice stuff all over my countertop! It was so thick it looked like shaving cream. I am just speechless. I have never in all my 30 years seen a watermelon have a fit like this. So I pick it up, move it over to the sink and notice this teeny tiny little sliver on the side of it is where the watermelon puke is coming from. (And it's still hissing at me.) I just sat there and looked at it, clueless as to what to do. Was it possessed?!? Kendall and I were psyched about this melon, so I don't want to just dump it in the trash. So I call him. He thinks I'm crazy and tells me to cut it open. I hang up. I grab a giant knife and very gently start to slice into the top of the melon and the split second I do that, the watermelon "BOOMS!!" LOUDLY and explodes into two pieces. I jumped back, drop the knife, and am totally freaked out. Watermelon seeds are everywhere, all over me, the kitchen, and sticky juicy stuff is sprayed across the kitchen! I thought I got shot for a second there.
*Side note: It sort of reminds me of the scene in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation when Clark cuts into the burnt turkey and it sort of pops, then deflates. LOL

Now I have to call Kendall back. I was still in a little bit of shock from this explosion when I talk to him and, frankly, I think he's having a hard time understanding what I just went through. So bizarre. I had to take pictures of it for my blog (which wasn't even created at this point) bc it's such a crazy story that I had to share it! We still do not have a clue as to why the watermelon exploded. And, for those of you curious about what I did with the melon after it threw up on me: I had to throw it away bc it didn't really smell watermelon-y, and after the way it treated me, I didn't trust it. (Teresa: Beware of the other watermelon that you kept for yourself!!)

Before the explosion:

After the explosion:


Dawna said...

It's been a long time since I've laughed this hard. THANKS!! I needed that. Just think, you've touched me heart twice this week. Letting Lola come and play Wednesday and now this. Jamie and Kendall, I want to thank you both for all your prays and support. You don't know how much it means to me. God and my family has helped me though this tragic time of my life.I want to THANK YOU also for being there for John. I owe you guys. OK....I went from laughing to I better go.

Love you always,

Jamie said...

Dawna, we love you too! Lola had a blast with you, so be prepared for next time... :)

Justin said...

I've gotta say that the blog looks very professional, almost like you've been doing this for years! Plus all of your entries are very entertaining.